Do any of these sound familiar? I need to hire a nanny, but I want to sit down with her to work out the details. How do I do that while minimizing the power differences? My father just had a heart attack and needs a home health aid attendant. Dad is very defensive and manipulative! I want all of us to and talk about what's expected of her and us. Could a third party come do it? There have been some serious problems since the nanny started. Issues like these often end up in court. But we pay in cash and want to avoid the court system. We also want to keep this private. Where can we get confidential help to create an agreement that will settle everything? Try mediation! A mediator can help by facilitating group discussions and raising the tough questions. Hammer out details like sick leave, vacation pay, and which circumstances authorize deductions. Talk about emotional concerns such as how to deal with a loved one and walk through potential emergencies and how to respond. The process affords space for both sides to raise concerns. And, a formal written agreement avoids future misunderstandings.